Modern life can be incredibly hectic and high pressured with so many choices, no time to choose. A coach helps you become crystal clear on what you want AND how to achieve it. Coaching is about you; your life, your ambitions, your dreams, and achieving your goals. Your coach’s role is to listen without judgment and support you in becoming all that you strive to be.
Personal Coaching could help you if:
- You are in transition and cannot get focussed
- You are highly motivated but lack support or direction
- You are lacking motivation and need a bit of a push
- You want to take the next step in your career or relationship
- You are looking for clarity
- You are finding it hard to set and reach your own goals
- You are feeling overwhelmed and need some balance
- You want someone to talk to who has only your agenda and best interests at heart
What is coaching?
Coaching is defined by the ICF (International Coaching Federation) as “An ongoing partnership designed to help clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives”.
The role of the coach
A coach helps you become crystal clear on what you want AND on what will help you achieve it. It’s like having your own personal navigator for the journey that is your life; someone to help you find your way and help you stay on course. Your coach’s role is to listen without judgment, hold you accountable to the promises you make to yourself and support you in becoming all that you strive to be.
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“The coach’s job is to provide support to enhance the skills, resources, and creativity that the client already has”.
International Coaching Federation
Interesting article: Settling in & your 6 human needs
Settling in & your 6 human needs
“I cried solidly for the first three months when I moved to Texas”, my sister said the other day. “I sent so many letters in those initial months that my first friend was the lady behind the counter at the post office.”
Moving to a new country is a wonderful experience, however it can also be a roller-coaster of emotions as well. According to personal development guru, Anthony Robbins’ , we have six needs which must be acknowledged. These are: 1. Certainty, 2.Uncertainty/Variety, 3. Significance, 4.Love/Connection, 5. Growth and 6. Contribution. Moving to another country can put these needs out of balance.
Certainty In your new country a lot of the certainty that you previously took for granted has gone. Everything is different, from the language and the social norms to the physical environment and, of course, the food. Because of our need for certainty, this constant barrage of newness can become overwhelming. Little by little it eats away at our confidence. If I think back to my first year in Holland I remember how I tried to find a language school. Suddenly it hit me. Looking up ‘L’ in the phone book was not going to help. (I needed ‘T’ for talen). Then there was the stress of going into a bank and not knowing which counter I needed. All the tasks I normally did without thinking suddenly became a challenge.
Once you recognize this need you can consciously start to build some certainty into your life. When I was moving a lot I carried with me two photos, my Buddha, an ornament and a purple doily. No matter where I was, I always woke up to the sight of something familiar. This made me feel secure and certain. The other way to have certainty is to start some new routines. My sister did this in Texas by going to the same post office, making same trip every day until she felt more settled.
Uncertainty or Variety We humans are funny critters. As well as needing Certainty, we also need Uncertainty otherwise we get bored. Living in a new country has plenty of Uncertainty and Variety so I don’t need to go into this any further, do I?. Although for those of you who suddenly find yourself at home full time, as each day starts to blend into the next and you find yourself feeling bored and frustrated, may I encourage you to start looking for some new activity to add variety to your life?
Significance The next human need is Significance. At ‘home’ we were not only a wife and mother, but we were also someone’s friend, daughter, sister. Quite possibly you had a job or did volunteer work which gave you a sense of being Significant. When you move to a new country, you don’t know anyone, no-one knows you and you can lose your sense of being significant. Perhaps your role as home-maker takes on too much significance and you start to lose perspective. Think of activities which would make you feel significant again. For me, I needed to work so I started teaching English.
Love and Connection We also have a need to be loved and feel connected. Those who love us are miles away. No-one here knows who you are, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. A way of nourishing your need to be connected is to get involved in a club and make a conscious effort to meet new people. Holland has a fantastic expat community with numerous clubs to join. I met one of my closest friends at a yoga class. Two other beautiful friends came into my life via the Open University. Set yourself the goal to find out about what’s available and then go and make connections. You will meet new friends, you will start to feel a sense of being significant and the regular monthly meetings will give you a sense of certainty.
Growth Living in another country is, without a doubt, a growing experience. Almost daily you are required to draw on different aspects of yourself, which you may not have realized were there. I have amazed myself with what I have dared to do here. Don’t focus on the difficulties of being in Holland, rather notice how you are expanding and growing as a person. Before you go to bed each night spend a moment to write down five wonderful things you accomplished that day.
Contribution We all need to make a contribution to the society in which we live. Take a moment each day to reflect on the many ways in which you contribute. Some of us need to do this in a big way, such as helping a cause, while others just need to feel that they contribute positively to their immediate family. How you are as a person in your relationship with others is contribution enough.
So, if you are feeling a bit low or out of sorts, look at the list of human needs and ask yourself which one is not being honored. When you identify which one it is, make a list of things you could do right now to honor that need. And finally, choose one thing on your list and go Do IT!